A while ago I said I was going to try to communicate with those who oppose our basic rights, and try to open up some kind of dialogue. I did get somewhere, I got my very own mention on CitizenLink (Focus on the Family) and I’ve spoken to a few interesting people who I keep communicating with.
But, what did I achieve? Did I change any hearts and minds? As far as I’m aware, I’ve not changed anyone’s mind. I thought in my arrogance that I just had to speak the right words, to speak carefully and quietly, and people might listen. But its not a simple proposition to help someone see that their hate is misplaced.
They all have their stories of Ex-Gay friends who really are happy, of their own conversion, or even their self-loathing “Good Queer” friends who know their place and aren’t too uppity. I know my Bibles, and I know every argument in the book to contradict any argument from the Bible or from the faux-scientific realm that has sprung up to defend the hate.
But no matter what I say, no matter the words it takes, I’m not actually making a difference doing this, and all its doing is bringing out some of the worse angels of my nature. The constant attacks frustrate me, and for all my good intentions, I’ll slip, and lash out at some bigot, and all my good intentions are betrayed.
I know that all I’m doing is sparring, making myself feel better by delivering knockout blows to straw-men, but its costing me my inspiration, my drive and getting in the way of doing something good here with No More Lost.
So I’m going to walk away from it. I’m not going to speak on their sites, or get drawn into endless and pointless conflicts. I’m going to focus on trying to do some good here. Maybe its a fools errand, but I started this site because I didn’t want the world to lose any more queer kids. Maybe if people like me focused more on that goal rather than scoring points off bullies and bigots, one of us might have said the right thing to a vulnerable teenager who’s in the dark.