Why I am Pro-Choice, and why I would still choose an abortion

I developed this line of reasoning a few years ago, and while my circumstances have considerably changed, my choice remains the same.

My reality is: I can’t have children, at least not through conventional means. While there are medical advances that might change that, its doubtful they would come to fruition before I’m in my 60s.

If I were to wake up tomorrow and be pregnant, it would be miraculous enough to make anyone a believer.

I do want to be a mother, and there are times I feel that need so hard it hurts. But, my future children deserve to have the best I could possibly give.

Four years ago I was a mess, I was recovering from serious emotional trauma. Financial and emotional stability were things that happened to other people, not me. I would have the odd good week, but then I’d end up crashing back down.

It was shortly before the trauma happened that the wish to be a mother emerged, and this continued throughout the darkest periods. I did wonder about a miraculous pregnancy,  and how I would react if it happened. Even with the state and family help, it wouldn’t be an easy life.

My child would therefore grow up in poverty, with a single mother afflicted by depression, and unable to work. Given that I have a choice, it would be wrong for me to inflict such a reality on an innocent child. So instead of having a child come into existence, and no matter how much I wanted that child, I would choose to have an abortion.

I have gotten a lot better, and it’s taken time, space, and self-analysis. I had to learn that it’s not keeping standing that matters, it’s getting back up each and every time. It is an ongoing process, and every single day of the past 4 years has mattered in my journey.

Some of those days were very hard, especially when I was doing jobs that ate my whole life… but because of those jobs, and experiences I got stronger, and I began to heal. Those were the kind of jobs I couldn’t have had if I was responsible for another human.

I realise I didn’t have a “real” choice to make, but that doesn’t make that decision any less real to me, and had I chosen differently,  I wouldn’t have had that space to recover, in both the emotional and practical sense, not to mention financially.

I am still not in the place where I could, by the standards I set for myself, be a good mother. I am getting closer to that time and place, but I still have a fair way to go. My choice therefore, would remain the same.

I do hope for the day when my personal choice could be different, but I should always have the right to make that choice for myself, based on my personal circumstances.

Women’s Health Pride and the Right Choice

There is a large minority of people in our society who feel forced to remain in the closet about the choices they made. Its a diverse group that varies across all ethnicities, all social strata, all religious groups (it happens deal with it) and all financial situations. 1/3rd of women in the USA at some time in their lives will make a difficult choice, and choose what is right over the social mores that may exist in her community, or the US as a whole.

She will choose to have an abortion, it may be an early RU486 pregnancy, or it may involve going to one of the very few doctors brave enough to perform late term abortions. There are as many reasons for doing this as there are women in the world, because each situation is different and unique.

Legally I’m pro-women’s health fullstop, if the woman needs an abortion I think she should be able to get it. So you aren’t gonna convince me that the procedure is wrong, it may be distastefully medically to you, but I doubt you’d get excited about removing a cancerous piece of the lower intestine either. This isn’t about my beliefs because they are largely irrelevant to the point I’m trying to make.

If a woman makes what is a difficult choice, then not only should she not be vilified and metaphorically spat upon, instead I actually thing she should take pride that she put her health and wellbeing ahead of an agenda that wishes to criminalize her behavior.

It may be that she felt that at the place in life she was at that she could not give the child a good home due to financial or family situation. It might be that a relationship has fragmented, and the woman does not want to place undue burdens on either of them. It could be that the pregnancy will threaten the woman’s health. Most difficult of all it might be that the child would have life changing special needs, and while there are people who will sacrifice everything for their child, its a very difficult sacrifice to make, and nobody should be forced to do it, because resentful parents are not what the child needs.

This is what it comes down to, unless you feel ready to have a child come into your life, where you feel like you can support them and give them a loving home, then nobody should be able to force you to have one, or make you feel shame for making that right choice.

Most women will do anything to hide the fact they had to have an abortion, because of the social stigma the so called pro-life community has snuck into our society. I’m not talking about quiet acceptance, I’m talking about women being able to have pride in the fact that they did the right thing. If necessary I want there to be a women’s health pride, a march of women who are prepared to say “I did the right thing” and banish this effort to make them feel guilty for making the right choice.

The inspiration for this piece came to me while watching one of Angie the Antitheist’s videos.